1) I had a panic attack on Saturday over school and work and just life in general. Ever since then my brain has kind of been out in space.
2) My beautiful boyfriend passed on his sickness to me.
So now I will explain how the panic attack and sickness came to be....
Saturday: Woke up and worked on my essay (which was due at 5pm). Around noon I went to Cracker Barrel with the family and highlighted articles during the 45 minute wait for our table. Stress. Got a table, highlighted until I finished both articles. Stress. Briana got mad at me because it was her birthday lunch. Even more and even worse stress. :( After the meal (2:30ish) I had to speedily but safely get home to finish my essay before work at 4pm. On the way people were SUCKING ROYALLY at driving...even more stress. stress. stress. Got that finished around 4pm...which is also what time I was supposed to be at work. Hint: This is when the panic begins.
So here I am pulling my hair out and late for work. Can't find my work clothes. Can't find my car keys. Maeby is taking her sweet time going poop. STRESS. At some point I just lost it and screamed at the top of my lungs. Felt good but my house echoes and poor Maeby got scared. It was one of those horrible tv moments when someone just losses their mind and then realizes what they did and they just start crying and hugging their child/loved one. YEAH, totally happened to me. Maeby was freaking out and I was freaking out and then I just had a break down. Dropped to my knees and just bawled my eyes out while I hugged her to me. Said I'm sorry about 25 times, I think. It was just awful. I will never do that again because I can't explain to you how much it hurt me to see her in pain (from the sound of my yelling). It hurt her ears I think...no good. But after I stopped crying and she stopped being scared I had to put her in her kennel and go to work. So on the way to work (I was speeding), I got stuck behind a train. THUS, the panic attack. I just started breathing really hard and crying really hard. It was awful. Called John and he was really worried...Love him to death. Went into work and my manager, Scott, helped calm me down. Gave me a little speech to cheer me up. It worked thankfully. Called John and asked him to pick up Maeby and take her over to play with Pants and Memphis in his big backyard. She deserved it after I scared her so bad. And I asked him to bring my ice cream from home. He did both. And sneakily bought me a rose too. Looked like fire but made my mood go about 50 points higher. :)
Later that night he came back up to work because we had to cater for the A&M Swimming and Diving Team. The best part...they were arriving at 10:30pm and we close at 9pm. WOO. I'll skip over all that mess because there is nothing really important that happened. Just know that they came at 10:30pm left at 11:45 pm and I clocked out at 1:15am (or so). John and I had to clean up everything all by ourselves...took forever. Needless to say we were both exhausted. My feet were numb! After that we headed to his casa because I had to pick up the puppster. We fell asleep on his bed, he took NyQuil but I was just exhausted... The time frame for this nap was around 2am - 4am. In that short span of time I received his sickness. UGH, the sad part is that we haven't even kissed in about a week because he's been sick.... Anyways, around 4am I had to wake up and take Maeby and myself home so that I could get up and go to work at 10am.
So to get to the point of this whole blog...I couldn't write my German composition today. I literally could not focus because the panic attack screwed with my brain. And because I'm sick...I was falling alseep. It was awful. I barely answered one of the 4 parts of the composition and it was crap. Maybe I'll get to make it up? I HOPE.
Now I'm working on my ENDS project and my mind is doing the same thing...it's spacing out. I can't thing of anything that will "solve a problem related to campus life and/or University attendance." I couldn't even nap today because my mind is everywhere but where I need it. :(
School + Work = Stress + More Stress = Panic Attack + Sickness = Spacey-Marie
That is an equation I do not want to be a part of again for a long time...maybe even never again!
Thanks for reading. I'm going to find perspective now...I think he got scared by my panic attack too! But I really need him back... :/
